How To: Pursue Parenthood and a Career
PHOTO COURTESY OF GAIL KNEF
Gail Knef, a now-retired flight attendant, shares what she’s learned about being a parent while juggling a career. It’s never easy and it’s different for everyone. But if you want to hear some wisdom from someone who’s walked this tricky path, read on.
Love your job: loving your job is so important. That would probably be my number one, because if you don't love it, it shows at home.
Be Present: being all in when you’re home, [however much] that is. Be there for [your kids], which is very hard for so many parents now. They have to work on weekends or work late at night, and children can tell when they're not prioritized. [Let] them know they are the most important thing to you and the reason you go to work. But be there for them when you are home. I was very lucky. I didn't consider this career demanding–I could leave it at the door and not bring it home. I could get my socializing and my rest (which parents crave more than anything) done at work and come home renewed and invigorated to take on parenting, which is the hardest thing.
Accept things you can’t change: my whole career, I felt guilty. I would say that [someone who] really wants to and strives to be a good parent, never thinks they’re doing the greatest job. I always felt I wasn't offering [my kids] as much as they deserved because I was single parenting [and going] through divorce. I was hard on myself for that [but now] I wouldn't take that so hard. You can't change [that]–accept that you're doing the best that you can at the time, given what you have to juggle. I didn't grant myself that for probably my whole career.
Recognition is hard-earned: a lot of women feel they do not get appreciation. Children are young and don't know to thank you for everything. When [they] age enough to thank [their] mother for what she did and recognize what that is–especially after [they] have children–[then they’re] really gonna thank her. But [until] that time, it's all about your children's emotions and their maturity level and what they're going through.
Gail’s words, while specific to her life, feel rich with advice regardless of your situation. Life throws challenges at us fast, so hopefully her heartfelt suggestions can help you as you think about the future.